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Moosehill Kathy's avatar

Thank you for sharing your story. May Tom's love and presence in your heart continue to be felt and dearly treasured. I recall too many obits "died suddenly" as code for died by suicide.

Please consider to copy/paste into your phone's contacts....for yourself or a friend:

988 is the national suicide/mental health crisis hotline (call/text, available 24/7)

In Massachusetts, 833-773-2445 (available 24/7/365) is the Behavioral Health Help Line (BHHL) connecting individuals and families to the full range or treatment services for mental health and substance use offered in MA, including outpatient, urgent, and immediate crisis care. Call for real-time support, initial clinical assessment and connection to the right evaluation and treatment (Mass Health and private insurers). www.mass.gov/info-details/behavioral-health-help-line-bhhl-faq

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

Copying and pasting now, Kathy. Thanks so much for sharing.

John

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Vin's avatar

Thank you so much for writing this! Working with clients experiencing this deep and unfathomable loss in their lives, I’ve similarly invited them to talk about their loved ones’ lives, and that relief of being able to talk fully and openly is so clear.

Even among clinicians in the mental health field there can be some stigma and difficulty talking about suicide. Three years ago, after losing a client this way, I joined with a coworker to begin facilitating a support group for clinicians who had experienced client loss by suicide, to provide a space for grief, processing and to share some of the memories of their time together. It was what I needed to help me through that painful loss, and it helped immensely to create safety for other clinicians who hadn’t received much by way of support from clinical leadership and peers after their loss.

Thank you again for this inspiring writing!

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

That’s an amazing story, Vin. And you’re so right that we in the therapeutic community are not immune to the stigma. Quite the contrary. If you’re comfortable sharing, where are you geographically? I’d love to share your group with my readers.

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Vin's avatar

Thank you! I’m in the Pacific Northwest. I am not sure if that group is still running, I am no longer with the organization. I sure hope so though.

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Christine's avatar

Thank you so much for this. Three days ago a young man in our neighborhood committed suicide, triggering a lot of unprocessed sorrow and shame in me, I lost my father to suicide 30 years ago. Your essay gives me so much hope and motivation: not letting these last moments define him forever, shining a light onto his life.

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

So glad this piece resonated with you, Christine. You’ve been through a lot - sorry for your losses. May your father’s memory bring you some sense of peace and joy.

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Dan's avatar

Thank you John. I lost a sister to suicide in August. We are a large family w dynamics, and your words were perfect. You nailed the sentiments. Peace

Dan

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

So sorry for your loss, Dan. I’m glad this resonates. Let’s keep in mind the life and lives our siblings left behind.

Peace,

John

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Sosha's avatar

Thank you for being a voice on this important subject! There needs to be more awareness, understanding, and compassion around suicide.

Wishing all the best to you!

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

Thank you, Sosha!

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Meg's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing this John. As with everything you write, this inspires me . I've felt similarly about a friend whose son died of an overdose. She has written a lot about him on social media, including about his life and also how he died. That's another stigma that's likely not helpful to keep inside

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Dr. John Duffy's avatar

Absolutely, Meg. So sorry for your friend’s loss. And I think it’s very cool (and brave, too) to talk about him on SM. Break the stigmas!

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